Thoughts on School . . .

It sucks cause I'm like really nervous for school.

I try and calm myself by saying that once it’s over and done with, and I get into university, that it’ll all be fine. That it’ll all work out.

But then I realize . . .

Once I do get to university the anxiety and everything will come back. My classes will swamp me and I’ll constantly feel on edge, like I should be doing more.

I just get the feeling like I should quit while I’m ahead. Stop before I pull all my hair out or cause it to turn prematurely grey.

But then I realize. . .

This all means too much to me. I’ve worked my ass off in academic classes because I wanted to go to university. I wanted to go onto higher education. To stop now and go down to a lower level or even to just settle with college seems like a waste to me.

I have nothing against college, it’s just not for me. Whenever my friend asks me why I’m so bent on going to University I get the feeling that she thinks I look down on people in college. I think she might think I won’t make it. This is yet another reason why I’m doubtful about university.

So in the end, I guess I need to deal with my anxiety. Start taking those extra little steps to ensure that I don’t fall behind and panic.

I have a lot of work ahead of me.

But this really helped.

An Update. . .

Woah, I thought that my dashboard said my last post was in April. Twas going to write a short blurb saying how I was absent and why and such. I opened this window to type up my post and everything, until I realized it said August. Meh, I'll just think up something else to write about.

Today was the exam for my Bio coarse. It was really easy and I did pretty well on the booklets to. And to think, I almost gave up on this unit; that would have been a big mistake. Then I spent the rest of my Dad at my Aunt's celebrating my Mom's birthday. It was 4 or 5 hours of Hannah Montana and my Aunt babying my 9 year old cousin. I'm sure glad to be home.

I found I really like watching movies. Like, I always wrote it off as something everyone likes, but I think my lvoe for it has become more of a hobby. I love watching different genres, go over the plots, the camera techniques-- I basically dissect it. It's not a mere time waster, it's something that I like to look at in depth. I could never do movie reviews, but now I actually want to try and watch different movies that interest me. I love nothing more than finding good, under rated movies.

Finally, the reason I've barely been posting is because of a site called Tumblr. It's an easy bloggin site that cool for just quick, mindless posting. To me it's more like you post random thoughts, while blogs like this are more like public journals. Full posts with some kind of meaning behind them. The thing I love most about Tumblr is the reblogging. It's the shit. LOL

My Tumblr
My Tumblr with my Friends

Well, ttyl
*REtro

Ahhh, The Beat Goes On

I found the third Cube movie there today. I was so stoked when I found it.

It was great cause the hot guy at the cash knew all about the movies. He even went into the back and pulled out the second cube movie he had on hold for himself, just in case I wanted it. I thought that was a pretty nice thing to do.

I really want to work at The Beat Goes On now, just because you get to listen to whatever you want and get dibs on new stuff that comes in. Sounds like a pretty sweet job to me. =]

*REtro