Thoughts on School . . .

It sucks cause I'm like really nervous for school.

I try and calm myself by saying that once it’s over and done with, and I get into university, that it’ll all be fine. That it’ll all work out.

But then I realize . . .

Once I do get to university the anxiety and everything will come back. My classes will swamp me and I’ll constantly feel on edge, like I should be doing more.

I just get the feeling like I should quit while I’m ahead. Stop before I pull all my hair out or cause it to turn prematurely grey.

But then I realize. . .

This all means too much to me. I’ve worked my ass off in academic classes because I wanted to go to university. I wanted to go onto higher education. To stop now and go down to a lower level or even to just settle with college seems like a waste to me.

I have nothing against college, it’s just not for me. Whenever my friend asks me why I’m so bent on going to University I get the feeling that she thinks I look down on people in college. I think she might think I won’t make it. This is yet another reason why I’m doubtful about university.

So in the end, I guess I need to deal with my anxiety. Start taking those extra little steps to ensure that I don’t fall behind and panic.

I have a lot of work ahead of me.

But this really helped.